Future

Underestimated words and a breeze that is the least bit tropical,
We're months away from the oceans and we live in the world.
Not as obvious as it used to be, not that it ever was.
I'm actually not oblivious, I notice everything that happens,
I'm only oblivious when it comes to a person. A people. You people.

I carry confidence buried just barley under skin cells,
I'm no longer far from the surface.
Sometimes like claws when we speak, you scratch, even when supporting me.
You dig, not scratch, but as you bring out my confidence, I become confused.
Though you bring it out to the surface you steel it all for yourself.

You make me sick.
You will make me well.

Night, remember the day.

Did you see that?
Summer just passed me.
I felt it.
The excitement stung my chest and shocked my hart.

Inhaled crisp fall air.
It circled me, tickling my back,
straightening my posture,
smile. If only for a moment before a puzzled confused look
sends you to winter.

You dare yourself to jump in the snow,
Your so close and
BOOM. It's gone, you didn't even get to feel it, though as
you enter spring your nose still feels nipped by the cold.

Laughter, and surrounding joy.
You have to smile. Have to.
The bird chirps and you know.

Tuff times pass,
and you have no idea that you still have the night to make it up.

Don't read ahead.

To the person who did not paint my colors,
To the person who did the worst damage to my confidence,
To the person who laughed when I was hurt,
To the person who changed their unfair mind in my soul,
To the person that took my wings away and held me down,
To the person that showed me I over analyzed everything,
To the person that told me what I didn't want to hear,
To the person that figured me out and doesn't even really know it.

To the person who brought out the colors I already had,
To the person who told me the cold, hard truth to help me out,
To the person who taught me to laugh when it stings,
To the person who showed me everything happens for a reason, worst can turn to best,
To the person that made me take the right path, even if it took force,
To the person that showed me how to use my annoying values to my advantage,
To the person that told me things that REALLY changed everything for me,
To the person that taught me, this is who you where meant to be, without a word.

Your my best friend.
I love you buddy.

Together in the end?

You'll teach me and for once,
I'll be okay with that. I'll surrender to that.

I'll forget all the other worlds I was in as you tell me something off subject.
You'll flash that smile and I might laugh.
You'll make brownies that look goofy.

I'll probably push you down a hill.
You'll be freezing,
I'll be quite for a minute as I realize the way snow crunches from under me.
I'll feel heavy, lay down, and roll down the hill.
The wind will chap my face and I'll think of a random Disney character to speak about.

Come up with a mouth full of snow and a pout.
You'll laugh at me and I'll throw a snow ball at you.
I'll play "can't touch me" for weeks, days and hours.

You'll smile.

I'll get the hot chocolate going, and you'll push the chairs by the fire.
Once again I will giggle, but this time halt and look at you.

The fire will crackle and with time I will fall even farther and farther into a trance set by the nature we surround ourselves with.
I'll steal your burdens and feed them to the moon.
Our purity will fill the room.
And our innocence will smile. I think I will too.

because I know more than one way.

One day holding hands in the beginning.

I desire that guarantee feeling I wish I could give to you. I could say-so. I’d verbalize it, “here I am, take it or leave it, the way I do.”

No joke. I won't rupture the way some do and I won't cause discomfort often. I'm fixable with a flower or two and some cool air. It won't take long to get me to smile and I don't need all the rage these worldly days.

On occasions I grow to be more precious though you didn't know I was capable and I will hold my mug and sway back and forth by the fire while you sing the confession of falling to me and I will watch you fingers strum against the strings to you guitar, you’ll teach me, and laugh at me when you start to see I really am musically challenged. I will laugh. I will journal on the floor and cuddle only with my blanket.

Get me?

Out of context.

One headphone. no. NOT headphones.
Head.Phone. one headphone.

I hate how that is all that your good at anymore.
I saw so much more in you than that.
I guess I shouldn't have expected.
Expecting is bad for us all.

Not just some of us. But the PURITY, the excitement of it all.
But then I'm overly frustrated and it all makes perfect since,
I can't leave but I want to leave.

It's not an option but it NEEDS to be...
before I know it though..there I am ..forgiving you.
Again.

Eventually, I'll never be done.
Eventually, was a week ago.
You think that I am using my words out of context,
but I mean just what I said.

Hey, maybe I'm out of context today.
You don't get it do you?

Lost in the time, of time, in the lock of the world, in which, I lost time.

You don't understand because your not suppost to. Becasue I don't want you to I suppose. Because it's crazy personal. CRAZY. but I need to get it out, is it out?

The wind kisses me in a way that is peaceful, not seductive

I feel the passion I'm crazy thankful for.

I adore it.

I feel the wind in my hair and the soft grass under my feet. The strong air enters my lungs and I can't help but finding the place that I want to be in life.

It's my real pleasure.

It's great. It's not better, it's best.

It's to good for words, and great for breathing.

Lovely for sprinting. I'm IN love with it, I'm passionate about it, and you can't take it away.

CAN'T.

The wind kisses me in a way that is peaceful, not seductive, all I can do is love.

That is what makes me the free spirited kid I am.

starting

Starting its time it runs..loosing its time it becomes more elegant.

Elegance is it's "Thing"

Stubbornness is its pride. Really.

I and my is often how the sentence may start with a creature so fine, finer than the finest silk...Silkier than the softest liquid.

Just like the silk it runs through my fingers, but never lingers through my palms, yet in my soul.

organization.

Can you accept this as true? I truthfully got all that done?
Honestly, I can't.

I've pinched myself to make certain I'm not in a dream,
As far as I can distinguish, I'm not.

I mean, two days ago, I was yank the hair out of my head stressed.
Currently?

I'm happy-go-lucky.

Oh the enchantment of organization.

in with the out

Everyday I take in environment,
Everyday I gain a little more inspiration when my feet sink in soil.

When I'm in, I carry out all around me. I fill myself up like I I was meant to be solid. The wind is my freedom, the cold, my night.

I thrive on tolerance and freedom, I embrace it with my being, Leave me here, I'll hum and sing while my drapes brush against the very top of the water, I'll sleep and wake as fresh as the beginning, I'm just as much or more without you.

I can move with the wind.

Peace

Gold. Soft and strong.

I don't see my reflection,
yet a soft no-numbered girl.

I have no past, not that I want to look back on anyway.
Not that it is bad.. I'm just, simply not interested.

Why would I be? I have all I need surrounding me.

The blades of grass are more pleasant than silk, to feel the grass connects me to the moon and my heart.

The key is in the stars,
to my left, I haven't found it,
I've felt it.

It holds together my being,though I don't know it,
it knows me. I it knows I love it,
though I question it, it searches me.

Solid as I fill.

Mr.Sun

Reveal aspirations to me.
possess it and make it a necessity.
Follow me as I dash through the woodland.
Take off your advantage.
Shoes.

You won't fancy them here.

tell my catal how pleasant they are.
Turn cold to heat.
Heat to spring.
Spring to life.

Turn.
Nowhere.

Challenge.
Mr.sun and value I will grant you.

Don't suppose that you will comprehend or nurture this.
or my me.

Halt my companion.

My feet are sinking into the asphalt.
because I am running into lavender laundry detergent.

Over and OVER again.

Bestow your last drops of pink lemonade.
It hurts your throat anyways.
You should go get your ice water.
shouldn't you?

Disregarded feeble... you.

I fell and scraped me knee.
It didn’t ache.

I let the iciness numb my body.
I respected it.

I allowed the wind to chap my face.
It reminds me of poca-freaking-haun-isse

You lied.
I have hysterics. You only gave me adrenalin.

You lay there. pitiful.
Get up, I say.

Weak and fragile.
You.

So, I’m sorry.
I didn’t realize it all.

Just. business

You ran away with my wings.
You carried them on your bareback all the way to the slaughterhouse.
Just like the souls you never accepted as true.

You were certain they couldn't feel.
I’m convinced you can't.

Jerk.

Your:
definition;
Fill in the blank.

Though it will never be complete.
You are blank.

I don't grasp who you are.
Almost certain your me.
Perhaps not the foundation of it all.
but now..I'm holding you accountable.

Blame.

Ugly freakin' commerce.
I should stop.
But you gave me my license too.

stubborn

She said.
jfkjdkajfkdja fjkdja fd ak

I said.
Ha.

He said.
KDFJKDJAKFJDA FDKAJ.

I said.
NO.

She said.
ahfdkajfkdjakjfkdj fkdja fkd.

I said.
Let me tell you this.


I hear.
WRONG.

He hears.
Curse words.

I say.
Nevermind.

He.
Listens.

She says.
Sorry.

And I just now noticed..
It was prolly my bad.

get passed it all.

My tired eyes go back and forth between dark and light.
My changing temperature is keeping me confused and dizzy.
and yet...

I just don't care.

I eat a banana, drink some water and move on with my day.

So why don't we...
Get over it. Chomp on some prayer, be refreshed and relieved and go on with life.

Us silly humans we are. Silly I tell you.

cold beauty

My tired eyes go back a forth between dark and light. 
My changing temperature is keeping me confused and dizzy.
The cold nips at my nose and the dark creeps.                                                                                         The trees that usually comfort me and shelter me as I cry, hang and haunt me as I back away.

What is wrong with me? I mean..yes I'm ill, but am I sick? That sick?
Something moves and jolt. The moon is covered by the clouds that I usually call beautiful...because..
I forgot. I didn't remember. I didn't acknowledge and I didn't think.                                                              I'm sorry..Please let me see you and let me free once again. 

Bare foot and running through the woods.

I promise you I will never be the girl who was to practical. I promise.

I'm never alone. Ever.

But I like to sit with God.

My temple is being ruined.

I ate a hot pocket today. Groosssssssssss!

Clash

I hung my head. I went to the library. I started cleaning. I cleaned till you couldn't see me anymore. I became invisible. I hung my head once more.
I just stood there. Stood there in the library and cried. You, of course, will never know this..
I picked it up. That invisible thing. The one thing I choose to be so vague about.I listened to you. To you gripe and scream and grind your teeth.
I bit down to close the words screaming from my chest. I looked at you. I realized. We clash.
Ha. Isn't it funny. How I clash like that with almost everyone that I love? You have no idear do you.
Did you see that glance? Or were you being to oblivious to notice the things under your eyes and level with your nose?
So I'll sit in the middle of the street. and smile.
Forget.Breathe.Hold.Let go.
Letting go.
Gone.